Maybe Not Too

Recently I posted an entry that suggested that perhaps a certain person was my friend for the last 25 years and I just hadn't noticed. I've given that some reconsideration. The only time she calls is when she wants someone to entertain her or go somewhere with her. The enthusiasm wore off quickly on her part and I must say, it did on mine too. She and I have some things in common but not enough to be too enthralled with each other. I think it is mutual.
In all my reconsiderations I'll decided once again that I am not cut out to be any ones friend. Maybe I don't know what the term friend encompasses....I will leave it at we still are speaking to each other now and then and if either one of us needs something in an emergency we can rely on each other.(at least I think that is true).
I can't get over the feeling of being a broken item, something that isn't quite usable but still recognizable as the item it is. I mean, I look like a normal person most of the time but that is as far as it goes. It has always been that way too, even when I was a child. It's sad to think of all the years that have passed and I have not changed in some ways that perhaps I should have. Eh, I don't know what I am talking about.